Paralyzed Parking

Pkg Tckts WindshieldWhen it comes to establishing routines, Andrew has always been a sensory learner, as in, see the bills, pay the bills, listen to the silence (from non-creditor phone calls).  It’s not a complicated system, yet every year around his birthday, Andrew is stunned by the exorbitant cost of renewing his driver’s license.

Since he drew the “All Things Auto” straw in our household division of labour, it’s his job to deal with oil changes, car washes and parking tickets.  My unassigned car contributions include spilling coffee in the cup holders, leaving the driver’s seat in the castration position, and generally neglecting all child filth.

When I noticed Andrew’s renewal form in the mail this morning, I went to his car to prop it up where he’d be sure to find it.  In an effort to achieve optimum visual impact, I pushed a little panel door on the console marked “NOT AN ASHTRAY” and discovered the reason for his annual bewilderment.  No evidence of smoking … just the smoking gun:

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While this finger in the ear “La-La-La, I-Can’t-Hear-You” administrative approach may work for some, I felt it my duty to gently point out that forgotten municipal invoices don’t just magically disappear simply because they can no longer be seen.

I hope he thanks me later for not using his staple gun to make my point:

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8 responses to “Paralyzed Parking

  1. The guy who asked you about the castration position must not be married or else his wife doesn’t drive. My husband could tell him what the castration position is even though he’s never heard the term before. But he soon will.

  2. The “Castration Position” truly cracked me up and gets my husband EVERY time. Twenty years later it still gives me pleasure to leave the seat in that position except that I am not as wafer thin as I once was and getting in is no treat this minivan mom. Which reminds me, I must renew my licence in the next week or I’m sure to be pulled over the day after my birthday. Way to expensive for me!

  3. You’re a fun writer Andie.
    Just out of curiosity (but a very, very vague and general sort of curiosity, you understand? Nothing too specific – I certainly want no demonstrations!) what is the ‘castration position’ that a driver’s seat can be left in?

  4. I must devise a straw-pull contest and rig it so that my husband draws it! I never thought of it before but I have enough on my plate without adding oil and tire changes to my calendar.

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