Do you know what it feels like being a Torontonian right now? It’s a bit like standing in a crowded elevator beside a man who just baked the mother of all wind biscuits. The doors open, more people pile in, and as they look around quietly gagging, they assume your presence in that airspace implies, if not your guilt in it, your tolerance of it, when all along you were just trapped in a box with Mr. Gravy Pants with no escape. Guilty by ASSociation.
I can totally understand the WTF?-factor, and how onlookers must be watching what’s going on in our fair city wondering why, in God’s name, Toronto can’t just fire their crack-smoking drunk of a mayor. You’d think, right? But no, there is currently no mechanism in place for city council to remove this disaster-magnet from office. At least not without an unprecedented fight.
So the good people of Toronto took up the cause yesterday and marched on city hall. And I, having never been a sign-wielding public demonstrator before, felt compelled to join them. In fact, I am so repulsed by Rob Ford I was practically dizzy with civic duty.
Since it was my first-ever protest rally, I wanted the thrill of waving a pithy placard over my head, so I ran to the dollar store that morning, bought three sheets of way-too-flimsy Bristol board (as it turned out) and some rolls of wrapping paper (my stick), and agonized over what to say. In the end I found five little words that summed up my feelings about the man, squeaky-markered in my best grade school printing:
“MAN UP AND STEP DOWN”. Yeah, I told him.
The next rally is coming up this Saturday at 11:00 and you can bet my sign and I will be there.
That’s right, I’m a protester NOW, Muthaf**kaaaaah!