Can’t Afford Rob Ford

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Do you know what it feels like being a Torontonian right now?  It’s a bit like standing in a crowded elevator beside a man who just baked the mother of all wind biscuits.  The doors open, more people pile in, and as they look around quietly gagging, they assume your presence in that airspace implies, if not your guilt in it, your tolerance of it, when all along you were just trapped in a box with Mr. Gravy Pants with no escape.  Guilty by ASSociation.

I can totally understand the WTF?-factor, and how onlookers must be watching what’s going on in our fair city wondering why, in God’s name, Toronto can’t just fire their crack-smoking drunk of a mayor.  You’d think, right?  But no, there is currently no mechanism in place for city council to remove this disaster-magnet from office.  At least not without an unprecedented fight.

So the good people of Toronto took up the cause yesterday and marched on city hall.  And I, having never been a sign-wielding public demonstrator before, felt compelled to join them.  In fact, I am so repulsed by Rob Ford I was practically dizzy with civic duty.

Since it was my first-ever protest rally, I wanted the thrill of waving a pithy placard over my head, so I ran to the dollar store that morning, bought three sheets of way-too-flimsy Bristol board (as it turned out) and some rolls of wrapping paper (my stick), and agonized over what to say.  In the end I found five little words that summed up my feelings about the man, squeaky-markered in my best grade school printing:

“MAN UP AND STEP DOWN”.  Yeah, I told him.

The next rally is coming up this Saturday at 11:00 and you can bet my sign and I will be there.

That’s right, I’m a protester NOW, Muthaf**kaaaaah!

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I know I look like a perky little protester here, but I was all banner pumping and “Hey Hey, Ho Ho, Rob Ford has Got to GO!”

31 responses to “Can’t Afford Rob Ford

  1. Good for you!! I’m there with you in spirit next time from Vancouver. He is an embarASSment to Toronto and Canada as a whole. You guys are certainly not alone in this!!

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  3. It’s so good to hear someone who shares the same opinion about our despicable mayor. I am gob smacked when I still run into people who defend his actions. Yesterday my neighbour and friend of over 30 years tried to convince us that all the councillors had similar demons and that they were unfairly picking on the mayor. I’m tired of arguing with people who ignore the facts. Thank you for brightening my day.

  4. Ok, I DO remember busting a tiny move at one point (that “Hey Hey, Ho Ho” thing really gets to you!), but then I stopped for fear of looking like a mindless frat girl (oops, too late …) 😉

  5. “pithy placard”!!! “perky little protester”!! Love it!!! Good on you Andie!!! Let your voice by heard!! And it doesn’t hurt that you looked as cute as a button while doing it!!!!! By the way, saw you on the news pumping that pithy placard, chanting and (if my eyes didn’t deceive) dancing??!! Good luck on Saturday!

  6. Good for you! Now if Saturday’s rally doesn’t do the trick, some tar and feathers might be in order. It’s probably too good for him but it’s the best I can think of that wouldn’t get you too many years in prison.

  7. Way to go Andie! Hold your sign high with civic pride!!! Btw, as a seasoned protestor (I’m a teacher…) double side your placard and use a hockey stick as a holder. Good luck on Saturday!

  8. I agree! Growing up a Torontonian, it makes me so sad to see the people of my fair Toronto have to deal with Ford’s many shenanigans. The city needs a mayor that will help improve Toronto, not be selfish and hide behind his office while making one huge mistake after another. Have fun on Saturday!

  9. I love this, Andie. Citizen Duncan reporting for duty! I will be out of town Saturday, but will channel all my shared sentiment through you.

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