While 2014 seemed like a welcome breath of fresh air this New Years Eve, a year for which I still hold the greatest of expectations, it could definitely use a breath mint at this point, at least from where I’m standing.
Unlike in years past, I didn’t get the chance (aka ‘care enough’) to strike the Christmas decorations before pulling out of Dodge last Monday to spend New Years at our cottage. So we all got the thrill of coming home a few days later to the stale-dated party scene we left behind, complete with the withered Charlie Brown Christmas tree where our former robust pine once stood.
But worse than the visual letdown was the olfactory assault that greeted us as we walked through the front door. The fresh pine scent that had previously filled the air had been obliterated by the unmistakable smell of … well, what a toilet stack that freezes in -20°C creates when left to fester for five days. Yes, it’s a bouquet you won’t find in your Fabreeze bottle anytime soon.
So while the insurance Gods wrangle over what to do, I thought I’d make my list of new years resolutions to help get me back on track. But given the way this year has started off, I’ve left room for some minor modifications, just incase.
January 1st Resolutions (and their January 10th Reality Checks):
- Wake up an hour earlier each day and workout. (Wake up. That’s it really, just wake up.)
- Eat less chocolate. (Eat less chocolate … for breakfast.)
- Take greater pride in creating a nurturing home environment for my children. (Hire a cleaning lady.)
- Pay the kids extra for helping out around the house! (Double the allowance for any kid who even ONCE flushes a toilet.)
- Prepare more diverse meals to broaden my children’s culinary horizons. (Buy more dips for the chicken fingers.)
- Get the kids out of the house for an hour each day and do some fun activities together! (Gas up the car and grab the portable DVD player.)
- Work on improving my memory. (Uhh … … sorry, what was #7 again?)
- Print family photos and put them into albums. (Upgrade my iCloud space.)
- Omit the word “don’t” from my parenting vocabulary. (Seriously?? Don’t bother.)
- Avoid the triggers that stress me out. (Move to my own house.) (Okay, perhaps I could rephrase that … move to my own house, one with a NON-FREEZABLE toilet stack.)